Child Molestation: THE BLACK COMMUNITY'S INVISIBLE MONSTER

By: Deric Muhammad

Where does it end? The perpetual pain of women who were sexually violated as little girls is horrifying. It is so horrific that we don’t like to look at it or talk about it.

It is like an invisible monster. It is destroying our families and community, but most of us would rather act like we don’t see it. There is nothing more precious than a baby girl. As the father of two daughters, I can testify as a star witness.

The purity of their love is unbelievable. It is an innocence that must be protected by any means necessary. When that innocence is violated, dire consequences follow. The corruption of the female is the precursor to the corruption of a nation.

The mind of a woman is very powerful. When a girl’s body is abused, so is that powerful mind. It becomes difficult for her to ever trust any man again.
Sadly, most women go to their graves with this secret. According to statistics, 90% of child molestation cases occur at the hands of a family member, close family friend or trusted leader. This means that the molestation monster is usually right in the home.

But most families, if asked, will attest there are no victims or perpetrators in their family. This is because there is a “culture of silence” in America regarding molestation. Children usually never tell for fear of embarrassment.

Often they are trying to protect the perpetrator or they fear no one will believe them. Often we as men enter into relationships with women who have been molested as children. If we are unaware of this, it becomes very difficult to relate to one another and we usually don’t know precisely why.
When girls are molested there are serious societal consequences. According to the prevention Web site (childhelp.com):
-66% of teens who get pregnant in America were molested as girls
-96% of teen prostitutes were sex abuse victims
-75% of rapists are sex abuse victims
-60% of abused children are more likely to be arrested
Sex abuse victims often suffer from self-esteem, health, financial and weight problems.
Most of us believe that addressing molestation, incest and child abuse should be left to professionals. Unfortunately, by the time these professionals get involved, some child has already become a victim. This is why we must take action.

I believe that the key to preventing child molestation is proactive intervention. The first thing that we must do is face the fact that it has most likely occurred or is occurring in YOUR family. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but the numbers don’t lie.
Every household must molest-proof their lifestyles in order to protect the virtue of their children, both girls and boys. Here are a few points that may be helpful. You must teach your children the “do’s and don’ts” of physical contact.

Teach them about inappropriate touch and open up the lines of communication so that they feel comfortable coming to you if they feel someone has violated them. The courts and schools are literally forbidden to mention sex unless someone has already been violated. This means that the home must be the classroom where this is taught.

Caution: DO NOT THINK THAT YOUR CHILD CAN NEVER BE A VICTIM. Keep strange men away from your children, especially your daughters. There are some sick men out there and none of us are sophisticated enough to spot a molester when we meet him or her. Always keep your daughter in a protected environment. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad forbids us to leave our little girls home alone with any man.

Many people called him extreme. However, his philosophy only magnifies the seriousness of the business of protecting the female. Sometimes a woman will bring a “boyfriend” in the home and trust him around her daughter.

This is a big mistake. That man may very well be attracted to you, but remember that your daughter is the “younger version of you.” Thirty percent of all molestation victims are stepchildren violated by a step parent.

Limit the free mingling of the opposite sex. Males and females are physically attracted to one another by nature. If you leave them alone long enough you risk inappropriate behavior.

Outsmart nature and separate them. Millions of children are molested by other children, who may very well have been molested. The key is keen, constant supervision.

Teach your daughters to dress modestly, even around the home; especially if there is a male in the home. When young girls wear clothing that accentuate the shape of their bodies, they could very well attract the attention of some sick child abuser. Do not think that your male child is immune to the sickness of molestation.

Boys are being molested in unprecedented numbers and are highly unlikely to report it. These are just a few basic steps that parents can take to prevent molestation in the home. I personally believe that there should be stronger laws to protect children from this sickness.

A nation that cannot protect its women and girls is a nation that cannot protect itself. To my sisters who have been victims of molestation, you do not have to suffer in silence. There are many anonymous support groups and professional counselors that you can reach out to for help.

The process of healing may be a long road, but the sooner you get started the better you will feel. Remember, there is no wound that God can’t heal. It is time for the Black community to go from “hurt to healing.”