By: Deric Muhammad
We live in a world that is full of conflict. The reason that wars exist throughout the Earth is because human beings refuse to sit down and resolve disagreements. Conflict is natural. You cannot live in this world without having a disagreement with your fellow man. However, conflict doesn’t have to lead to violence and murder.
According to Webster’s dictionary, a conflict is defined as a clash of ideas and/or interests. The human being is born into conflict. When a baby is born, the very lighting in the delivery room conflicts with the darkness of the womb where it lived for nine months. Sooner or later the newborn’s eyes adjust to the power of light. This is termed “resolution” in the optical profession. Resolution is relative to one’s ability to see clearly.
There are many types of conflict in the Black community. There are conflicts in politics, religion, grass-roots organizations, fraternities, sororities, civic clubs, etc. The failure to successfully resolve conflicts that arise in marriage is a major factor that contributes to a high divorce rate. If we sincerely desire to see our youth iron out their differences, we as adults must lead the way.
Sometimes family conflicts last for generations. We all have family members who don’t “fool with” other family members based on some 10 year old disagreement. Sometimes the reasons are so silly that we literally forget why we haven’t spoken to our own blood relatives for years. This is a sure way to instill the spirit of false pride and contention in our youth.
President Barack Obama recently announced that U.S. troops will be out of Iraq by August 2010. The war in Iraq is a conflict that has created more conflict at home and abroad. President Obama, like most Americans, realized that violence is not the solution. Violence seldom resolves conflict. It usually exacerbates it and makes it worse. Our president appears to be leading the way in conflict resolution. We must follow that lead if we are to stop the bloodshed in America’s inner-cities.
Conflict among Young Black Males
Most of the time, conflict among young Black males, comes when someone feels they have been threatened, disrespected or violated. I have seen arguments over $10.00 turn into murder cases.
When two young males seem to be about to get at one another’s throat try and maneuver them into separate rooms. If a crowd has formed, try and disperse it. Sometimes a big crowd can be like gas on the fire of an emerging fight. If there are females in the crowd, males tend to feel they have even more to prove. It is the truth.
In most cases, you have to wait until the two persons calm down before trying to talk about what happened. You can almost never resolve conflict while both people are angry. Anger causes the loss on reasoning. Once things calm down, you should find a mediator that both parties RESPECT. It may be a teacher, coach or a well-respected parent. It may even be a highly intelligent classmate. Make sure the person is not going to take sides. Make sure the person is only interested in peace. This person can be called a “peacemaker.”
Once you have found a respected mediator, the key is to get to the very root cause of the dispute. Resolution is synonymous with sight. You have to make both parties “see” how miniscule the difference is and how easily it can be resolved. Once you have gotten to the root cause of the dispute, you must successfully show both parties that no matter what it is, it’s not worth shedding the precious blood of another human being.
Just as a newborn baby’s eyes eventually adjust to the power of light, the young Black male has the mental capacity to adjust to the light of truth if you are willing to sit down with them. However, if one wishes to mediate conflict in the hood you cannot be afraid.
We need peacemakers in the “hood’, to protect little girls, defenseless women and children. We need peacemakers to resolve conflict in our community. If you see a conflict about to get out of hand in your community, don’t wait until the guns blast before you do something about it.
Reach out to someone who may be able to resolve the issue before it goes too far. However you must be smart enough to refrain from getting caught up in the conflict yourself. Let’s stop the killing and start the building.
Deric's Debate is a weekly column written by Deric Muhammad. It appears in the African-American News and Issues Newspaper. www.aframnews.com
Very deep article. Perhaps ultimately the strength of our people will evolve. Black men must embrace the imperfectness of creation, and strive to know the true nature of why things are depressing. The globe is covered by our influences and ideas, and awaiting our come up in American society. The coldest thing about violence is that we are not the designers of the weapons we use to kill ourselves and familiars.The irony of it all is that we have deeper strains of tension that do require a new approach to manhood issues.
ReplyDelete